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Answer:
Friend
by Stewart
(UK)
To my dear friend who I hurt terribly and miss so badly... I just want to say I'm sincerely sorry for putting you through my overdose.
I know I made it seem like your fault, but it was never your fault, I was lying to myself and it was easier to blame you than to realise that.
I can’t believe I did that -- after the overdose everything just fell apart, we argued and argued and argued.
I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from, but please hear me out. I don't know where to start so I’ll start with this; I’m really upset that our friendship is gone and it's made me miserable for the past couple of months.
Every time we fought it hurt me more, and now we’re not even talking anymore, let alone friends. I'm really struggling without you now, we used to be best friends and you mean a lot to me, more than you know.
I hate fighting, especially with you. My mistake ruined our friendship and I don't know how to make things right between us. Knowing that I did this to my best friend kills me. I don't know what I was thinking and I hate myself for it.
Our friendship is too valuable to me to end over this. To find another friend like you would be impossible, you’re caring, patient, funny... I can go on and on, and it doesn't feel right without you anymore.
I didn't mean for things to be like this and wish I could take everything back to when we were close friends, I know I can't but I can show you that this will never happen again and I'm still the guy you trusted and thought of as your best friend.
I keep apologising because I’ve been completely in the wrong to be so inconsiderate and act like I have, I wasn't the friend I should have been but I don't want to lose you because I think you're worth holding on to, I don't know why, but whenever I had a bad day, or week you always made me feel better, you were one of the few who could do that.
I'm honestly heartbroken things are like this, I don't want my mistake to ruin our friendship and it would mean so much to me if you could give me a second chance.
You genuinely mean the world to me and I can't believe how much I miss you. I know you find it hard to trust and I’ve made it even harder for you to trust me and it'll take time for you to feel ready to talk.
I'm ready to wait until you can talk to me. A lot of people walk in and out of my life but you're one of the few I ever really wanted to stay, and until I make things right with you, you're going to be constantly on my mind.
I really do miss you so much and I don’t want to lose you. I made a mistake, and I really regret it. I don't think it's worth ending our friendship over though, I hope you think that too.
I haven’t changed, I know I seem like I have but I really haven’t. You did see something in me and I hope I get the chance to show you that it is still here and prove to you I’m still someone you can trust.
I’ve been a terrible friend for the last few months, but I think I was a good friend before, couldn’t we try and go back to that?
This wasn’t easy for me to write, and I hope this letter helps show you just how I feel, how much you mean to me and how sorry I am. Whatever you decide I'll always treasure our friendship and the good times we had. We went through a lot together, and you’re one of the few people I trust. You’re very special to me; I’d go through hell for you.
I hope you know that.
Please accept this apology and I hope you can forgive me; I can’t help believing everything will turn out okay, because I find it hard to think of my life without you in it anymore, and I’ll always be there for you. Please text or call me if you decide you can give me a chance.
Thank you for being my friend.
Wishing you well and waiting for your reply,
Stewart
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