Question

Read the excerpt from a student’s essay.
As Rainsford leans over the ship’s rail, his pipe slips from his hands. Acting on impulse, he reaches for the falling object, loses his balance, and falls into the dark water below. After this, Rainsford struggles to stay afloat and swim to the island in the distance. It is a difficult task, but after much effort, he lands on the shores. Rainsford collapses and falls into a deep sleep.
Which revision would best help expand the ideas in the excerpt?
adding a comment noting that Rainsford really should have let the pipe fall into the water
adding the fact that Rainsford hears a number of pistol shots as he swims through the dark water
adding more information about Rainsford’s past as a soldier and a hunter of wild animals
adding more details about the struggle Rainsford experiences as he swims to the shore

Answer 1

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